Most parenting guides begin with the question "How can we get kids to do what they're told?" and then proceed to offer various techniques for controlling them. In this truly groundbreaking book, nationally respected educator Alfie Kohn begins instead by asking, "What do kids need - and how can we meet those needs?" What follows from that quetion are ideas for working with children rather than doing things to them. One basic need all children have, Kohn argues, is to be loved unconditionally, to know that they will be accepted even if they screw up or fall short. Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as punishments (including "time-outs"), rewards (including positive reinforcement), and other forms of control teach children that they are loved only when they please us or impress us. Kohn cites a body of powerful, and largely unknown, research detailing the damage caused by leading children to believe they must earn our approval. That's precisely the message children derive from common discipline techniques, even though it's not the message most parents intend to send. More than just another book about discipline, though, Unconditional Parenting addresses the ways parents think about, feel about, and act with their children. It invites them to question their most basic assumptions about raising kids while offering a wealth of practical strategies for shifting from "doing to" to "working with" parenting - including how to replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, responsible people. This is an eye-opening, paradigm-shattering book that will reconnect readers to their own best instincts and inspire them to become better parents.

在线阅读本书 Most parenting guides begin with the question "How can we get kids to do what they're told?" and then proceed to offer various techniques for controlling them. In this truly groundbreaking book, nationally respected educator Alfie Kohn begins instead by asking, "What do kids need -- and how can we meet those needs?" What follows from that question are ideas for working with children rather than doing things to them. One basic need all children have, Kohn argues, is to be loved unconditionally, to know that they will be accepted even if they screw up or fall short. Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as punishments (including "time-outs"), rewards (including positive reinforcement), and other forms of control teach children that they are loved only when they please us or impress us. Kohn cites a body of powerful, and largely unknown, research detailing the damage caused by leading children to believe they must earn our approval. That's precisely the message children derive from common discipline techniques, even though it's not the message most parents intend to send. More than just another book about discipline, though, Unconditional Parenting addresses the ways parents think about, feel about, and act with their children. It invites them to question their most basic assumptions about raising kids while offering a wealth of practical strategies for shifting from "doing to" to "working with" parenting -- including how to replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, responsible people. This is an eye-opening, paradigm-shattering book that will reconnect readers to their own best instincts and inspire them to become better parents.

What is it with kids these days? They can't sit still - but obesity is on the rise. Their days are filled with activity - but more often than not, they're bored and restless. Childhood should be a time of unbridled joy, play, and learning. Instead, we have pushed our children into an abnormal environment, where they are expected to spend the greater part of their day under adult direction, sitting at desks and taking tests. We call this imprisonment schooling. What free time they have we fill with supervised instruction: team sports, tutoring, homework. As a result, we are heading toward an unprecedented crisis, with skyrocketing rates of childhood anxiety, depression, and suicide. As developmental psychologist Peter Gray explains, children come into this world burning to learn, but the enduring lesson of school is that learning is work, to be avoided when possible. In "Free to Learn", Gray shows that we can reverse the harmful effects of modern schooling and promote learning, self-reliance, and curiosity in our kids by returning to our hunter-gatherer roots. School is an artificial construct, a relatively recent invention in our evolutionary history which arose with the development of agriculture. But as Gray points out, children's minds and their natural instincts to learn were shaped when humans were living as hunter-gatherers. In hunter-gatherer societies children were left to play freely - and over time they absorbed the practical skills they needed to survive by watching their elders, and developed social skills by having to negotiate with other children while playing. The counter-cultural movement known as "unschooling" is growing as more and more parents and teachers are coming to realize that anxiety and competition in the classroom inhibit learning; rather, self-chosen and self-directed play are what engage the mind as effective learning tools. As Gray argues, education and learning should call upon the core aspects of our human nature - curiosity, playfulness, and sociability - instead of inhibiting them. A brave, counterintuitive proposal for freeing our children from the shackles of the curiosity-killing institution we call school, "Free to Learn" shows that it's time to stop asking what's wrong with our children, and start asking what's wrong with the system.

《如何说孩子才会听怎么听孩子才肯说》是美国家庭教育十大畅销书之一，销售300多万册，被译为30多种文字版本广泛传颂，全球父母亲子必读。该书长踞美国畅销书排行榜，长居《纽约时报》亲子类畅销书排行榜，出版20多年长销不衰。 ★中国大陆唯一授权正版中文精装本！ ★美国最著名的亲子教育书系作者，送给中国父母的最好礼物——爱的技巧和训练。 　　“你这孩子怎么那么不听话？”面对孩子的行为做父母的常常忍不住脱口而出。是的，天凉了让加衣服就是不加，地板凉可就是要打光脚，就是不要刷牙，就是要把饭弄得满桌子都是，就是不叫叔叔阿姨，就是要把屋子弄得乱七八糟，到吃饭的点了可就是还要看电视，就是不愿意做作业……等等，全是怎么说都不听。 　　阅读本书的经历，将是一次学习爱的技巧与接受爱的训练的过程， 它给了你走进孩子内心世界的钥匙，指引你切身体会孩子内心的感受。通过一系列实用有效的方法，帮助你和孩子建立起一个能够快乐交流的平台，使孩子变得不同寻常地愿意与父母配合。掌握了“如何说？”“怎么听？”的技巧，就能开启孩子的心灵世界，与孩子达成美妙的交流沟通，让孩子在您的引导下身心健康发展。 Publisher Comments : You Can Stop Fighting With Your Children Here is the bestselling book that will give you the know-how you need to be more effective with your children--and more supportive of yourself. Enthusiastically praised by parents and professionals around the world, the down-to-earth, respectful approach of Faber and Mazlish makes relationships with children of all ages less stressful and more rewarding. Now, in this Twentieth Anniversary Edition, these award-winning experts share their latest insights and suggestions based upon feedback they've received over the years. Their methods of communication-illustrated with delightful cartoons showing the skills in action-offer innovative ways to solve common problems. You'll learn how to: 1.Cope with your child's negative feelings-frustration, disappointment, anger, etc. 2.Express your anger without being hurtful 3.Engage your child's willing cooperation 4.Set firm limits and still maintain goodwill 5.Use alternatives to punishment 6.Resolve family conflicts peacefully Amazon.com How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk is an excellent communication tool kit based on a series of workshops developed by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. Faber and Mazlish (coauthors of Siblings Without Rivalry) provide a step-by-step approach to improving relationships in your house. The "Reminder" pages, helpful cartoon illustrations, and excellent exercises will improve your ability as a parent to talk and problem-solve with your children. The book can be used alone or in parenting groups, and the solid tools provided are appropriate for kids of all ages. About Author Internationally acclaimed experts on communication between adults and children, Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish have won the gratitude of parents and the enthusiastic endorsement of the professional community. Their first book, Liberated Parents/Liberated Children, received the Christopher Award for "literary achievement affirming the highest values of the human spirit." Their subsequent books, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk and the #1 New York Times bestseller Siblings Without Rivalry, have sold over 3 million copies and have been translated into more than twenty languages. Their group workshop programs and videos produced by PBS are currently used by thousands of parents' groups around the globe. Their most recent book, How to Talk So Kids Can Learn-At Home and in School, was cited by Child magazine as the "best book of the year for excellence in family issues and education." Both authors studied with the late child psychologist, Dr. Haim Ginott, and are former members of the faculty of The New School for Social Research in New York City and The Family Life Institute of Long Island University. In addition to their frequent lectures throughout the United States and Canada, they have appeared on every major television show from "Good Morning America" to "The Oprah Winfrey Show." They currently reside in Long Island, New York, and each is the parent of three children. From Los Angeles Times "Designed to bring adults to the level of children, and children to the level of adults, so that this happy meeting ground can truly make for harmony in the home." Book Dimension Height (mm) 206 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 Width (mm) 138 点击链接进入中文版： 如何说孩子才肯学

P.E.T., or Parent Effectiveness Training , began almost forty years ago as the first national parent-training program to teach parents how to communicate more effectively with kids and offer step-by-step advice to resolving family conflicts so everybody wins. This beloved classic is the most studied, highly praised, and proven parenting program in the world -- and it will work for you. Now revised for the first time since its initial publication, this groundbreaking guide will show you: How to avoid being a permissive parent How to listen so kids will talk to you and talk so kids will listen to you How to teach your children to "own" their problems and to solve them How to use the "No-Lose" method to resolve conflicts Using the timeless methods of P.E.T. will have immediate results: less fighting, fewer tantrums and lies, no need for punishment. Whether you have a toddler striking out for independence or a teenager who has already started rebelling, you'll find P.E.T. a compassionate, effective way to instill responsibility and create a nurturing family environment in which your child will thrive.